So as we are entering the last week of April i find myself literally in the middle of no where visiting a dear friend and her family ( husband, 3 boys, 3 Dogs) between mountains and valleys.
While trying to sit in silence the phone is constantly ringing in a house with no mobile reception 2 year old twins running on the wooden floor (joyful souls). A couple of farmers in and out of the kitchen. Yesterday was South African (Vetkoek & Mince) for lunch and with the help of so many who serve so diligently in this house hungry mouth’s where fed. In this house they do Please and Thank you’s & Sorry’s and most importantly LOVE so well…
I’ve realised we give the enemy to much room for broken is and anger when we’ve already been given the FREE GIFT of LIFE ‘ J E S U S ‘ In my own human effort I try and fathom what did i miss, what did i do wrong, where have a missed the path, what should i have done differently ( once even hearing that woman are most FRUITFUL before the age of 23, the way GOD intended it) this off course shocked me to the very core being a 33 year old at the time, where should I have been at a different time, was i disobedient, did i follow my own desires, did i rebel against God, did my ancestor’s screw up so greatly that i’m carrying the consequences to the 4th generation. I read on face book if not getting engaged, getting married and to top that, statuses reading: receiving the GIFT from GOD “babies being born” Yes it’s a gift but it’s not the ultimate GIFT, which is to KNOW THE FATHER’S LOVE FOR YOU whether you receive any gift or not, the ultimate gift was HIS SACRIFICIAL LOVE of GIVING HIS SON for my LIFE here on earth!!! The GIFT of KNOWING JESUS and having a personal relationship with him. NOW THAT IS A TRUE GIFT of ETERNAL LIFE John 17:3 Now this is eternal life: that they KNOW YOU, the ONLY true GOD, and JESUS CHRIST, whom you have sent.
As many of you know i am a “LADY in WAITING” to become someone’s HELPER, FRIEND and BRIDE and ultimately a MOTHER!!
Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD GOD said, ” It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him”
This is where my thoughts HAVE gone, wondering why the GOD who made the UNIVERSE in all of it’s enormity couldn’t give me: HIS BELOVED DAUGHTER my deepest hearts desire, ( well at least i thought this was my deepest hearts desire) if He cares why has it not happened yet… Now i know everyone is thinking, well it can still happen… AND YES IT CAN if it’s in God’s will for my life, it WILL. Now the next question is how do you know if it is in GOD’s WILL for your life, I guess I can’t answer that question before it actually happens, for now ALL i need to HOLD on to and LIVE for is KNOWING that my GOD is GOOD and FAITHFUL and KIND and LOVE’s ME UNCONDITIONALLY, there is truly no conditions to the way that HE LOVE’S ME, whether i’m crossing borders and flying to the ends of the earth to declare the name of the Lord or just sitting at my parents house looking at the ocean and paging through wedding magazine’s, YES “WEDDING MAGAZINE’S most probably one of the top favorite things for me to buy and spend time doing… MY FATHER LOVE’S ME U N C O N D I T I O N A L L Y, he gave HIS son for my life, to give me LIFE and LIFE in ABUNDANCE.
HE IS A BRIDEGROOM GOD and IT IS ALL ABOUT A WEDDING!!!
He is purifying his BRIDE/THE BODY of CHRIST/CHURCH to walk humbly in LOVE and TRUSTING that it was and is FINISHED at the CROSS… now we can continue to be messengers of LOVE to make HIM KNOWN to the WORLD, preparing the way for HIS return and the greatest WEDDING of the CENTURY a K I N G D O M M A R R I A G E
It was not until recently that i realised the DEEPEST CRY OF A HUMANS SOUL is to ‘KNOW’ the FATHER and HIS LOVE FOR YOU
It took me 36 years to really GRASP this, it happened at a “FATHER’S HEART” conference in Stellenbosch/ South Africa , even though the things i heard i’ve heard so many time’s before, i longed, i desired i begged my HEAVENLY FATHER to make it TRUE and write it on TABLETS of my HEART, i’ve had so much HEAD knowledge that: GOD LOVES ME but i needed more, i needed a TOUCH a KISS from HEAVEN, i wanted to FEEL it DEEP inside of my HEART and the GOD who made the UNIVERSE in all of it’s enormity MOVED his beloved DAUGHTER’s HEART like never before…
it’s in HIS PRESENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P E A C E
IN HIS PRESENCE there is FULLNESS of JOY, in HIS PRESENCE nothing else matters, in HIS PRESENCE i don’t have to be married to feel whole, IN HIS PRESENCE i don’t have to be a mother to be whole, IN HIS PRESENCE i can be myself, in HIS PRESENCE i don’t have to do anything, say anything, even think anything to receive HIS LOVE, in HIS PRESENCE you only have to RECEIVE, in HIS PRESENCE i know my worth and value, in HIS PRESENCE i feel safe and secure, in HIS PRESENCE my age doesn’t make me unfit to be a wife or a mother, in HIS PRESENCE the color of my skin, the color of my hair, the color of my eyes, the size of my body doesn’t matter, in HIS PRESENCE I am fearfully made, in HIS PRESENCE i don’t have to impress anyone with credentials or degree’s or school’s or nations or anything i’ve done or become, in HIS PRESENCE you experience TRUE LOVE, PURE LOVE, UNDEFILED LOVE like never before. “IN HIS PRESENCE” i live for HIS PRESENCE!!!
Yesterday i spoke to one of my friends and she told me how she asked GOD to take her where she will be MOST EFFECTIVE in displaying HIS GLORY, and i know she has found that place, filled with HIS PEACE and HIS PRESENCE. When you start to know the CHARACTER of GOD which is LOVE over your LIFE you truly become MOST EFFECTIVE wherever you are Today in my silence/noicy state of mind i am ANOINTED AND APOINTED AND MOST EFFECTIVE in my friends house to display the LOVE of JESUS to everyone around me. If I had to ask God: ‘ How to best spend the rest of my life ‘ the answer came quickly, ANJA it’s in my presence … JUST TRUST ME- ABSOLUTE SURRENDER- YIELD … What a beautiful and perfect answer, Every deep, intimate relationship is rooted in Trust, without Trust we can’t experience LOVE, PERFECT LOVE drive’s out ALL FEAR, perfect LOVE is to know that whatever the outcome i can TRUST GOD with my whole HEART, spirit, soul and body… HIS PLANS FOR ME IS ONLY OF GOOD to PROSPER ME AND NOT TO HARM ME to ALWAYS GIVE ME HOPE AND A FUTURE. Jeremiah 29:11
So I continue to move forward, being certain of only one thing … the CHARACTER of THE ONE who leads me!!! The ONLY FAITHFUL ONE… our HEART BEAT’s a PERFECT RYTHM!
The more vonerable we are the deeper in intamicy we go with him… Intamicy means to know and to be fully known!
God continue to fill me with your LOVE, pour it out from me, make me a friend to the lonely, make me a mother to the orphans make me provision to the poor, may i be a open door to your LOVE make me a hug to a leaper make me open to rejected one’s make me a family, make us a family who give food for every mouth, a bed for everyone to sleep, safety, kindness, belonging.
The following is from a song by ‘Laura Woodley’, she fully describes the state of my HEART
Father teach me how to be married, teach me all about Covenant
Teach me about Faithfulness and Purity, lead me in love
Father thank you for all the patients you’ve given me, thank you for hearing my prayers
thank you for writing them all down, keeping track and listening ALL the time.
all those times I wondered how you would do it… you said to seek your Kingdom first and your Richteousness everything will be added… Sometimes it was hard, Sometimes it’s still hard.
But you give good gifts perfect gifts, you make dreams come true, God thank you for all the prayers you’ve answered.
Lord come into marriages everywhere that they can walk out the UNITY between the BRIDE and the BRIDEGROOM on the earth bringing GLORY to YOU!
GOD would you fill earthly LOVE with your HEAVENLY PRESENCE…
Your Daughter IN LOVE Anja